Ah yes, the draft. The NFL draft. The 2026 NFL Draft. That draft. The draft that’s tonight. The draft in Pittsburgh. That one. Ah yes, the draft.
Has this been one of the more subdued draft ledup periods in recent memory? I know there’s been a ton of the usual coverage, but the intrigue just doesn’t seem to be there this year. I think my favorite team has something to do with that. While pretty much all of that lesser intrigue is centered around who will go second and afterwards, the beginning of the draft seems set in stone. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t anything to say about that projected top pick, or the team who’s hours away from drafting him.
It’s time for Fernandomania — Raiders edition.
2026 MOCK DRAFT
1. RAIDERS: Fernando Mendoza (QB, Indiana) — The mortal lock of mortal locks. The Raiders clearly need a QB of the future. There is one clear QB ahead of the rest in the class. If Las Vegas wants to ever be a successful franchise in the 21st century, this is the pick they’ll have to make.
But will it work?
In the last newsletter, I wrote about my impression of Fernando Mendoza when I saw him as Cal’s QB against Miami after College Gameday. Even after watching Mendoza bloom into the deserving Heisman winner at Indiana, I still can’t get the images of him missing several key throws that could’ve helped the Golden Bears not blow a 28-3 esque lead against the Hurricanes. But in the weeks that followed the newsletter, Mendoza and Indiana blew out Alabama and Oregon, then did enough against (of all teams) Miami to complete the most stunning unbeaten season in CFB history and earn arguably the most unlikely national championship. While Ward was no longer leading the Hurricanes, Mendoza certainly looked good enough to earn the win and made the key play to win the game. Was he perfect? No, but he was a hell of a lot better than he was at Cal. Interestingly, assuming the Raiders do in fact Mendoza and start him against the Tennessee Titans, Mendoza will in fact face off against Cam Ward at home again. It’ll be a chance to redeem himself, much like this coming season will be the first chance for him to redeem himself in my eyes. Of course, it’s not going to be that easy.
Knowing the Raiders’ luck, Ty Simpson will become the next Tom Brady, while Mendoza will become the next, well… this is the first time since 2007 that the Raiders will pick first overall. While I certainly don’t believe Mendoza could fail as spectacularly as JaWalrus did, expectations will be high. The Raiders have been terrible for a long time and haven’t won a playoff game in over 20 years. To put it mildly, there have been plenty of reasons for this, and no one player can be enough to reverse it, no matter how talented. Mendoza, while certainly talented, isn’t a prospect like Joe Burrow or Cam Newton or Peyton Manning were. Those guys were talented enough to pretty much carry their teams to the playoffs on pure skill alone. Mendoza, though he could morph into that, is certainly not that now. But while Mendoza may not have been the top QB prospect in a better field, he has certainly put his best foot forward in pretty much every other facet. He’s beloved off the field and in the huddle. He’s got a tremendous attitude, seems to be a great leader, and seemingly has “it” — the intangibles to make things happen. For as much as I’ve been critical at worst or skeptical at best, he’s honestly winning me over. I just hope this isn’t a symptom of me wanting my team to be good and coping with undeserved optimism.
The Raiders are just a few hours away from beginning the Fernando Mendoza era, for better or worse. I honestly believe it’ll be for the better, though just how good it will be is unknown. Watch the Raiders take Simpson or trade out of the pick or something. I will jump off a bridge.
2. JETS – 32. SEAHAWKS: Who gives a fuck? — Arvell Reese, Sonny Styles, Jeremiyah Love, Rueben Bain Jr., etc. will all surely have good careers. But honestly I don’t give a shit about any pick after No. 1. Maybe if the Raiders trade back into the 1st round I’d care, but until that happens all any Raiders fan cares about is Mendoza. At one point the Raiders looked like they were going to have another 1st round selection. Then the bitch ass execs with the ratbird team from the murder capital of the East Coast went back on their word (because surely the smart thing to do in any scenario is to piss off Raiders fans). I’ll get back to that decision in a minute. But for now, the first overall pick will be the first step towards shaping the future of the Silver & Black.
MONTHLY RAIDERS RANT
Going into last year’s NFL draft, the Raiders went for a major shake-up, hiring a coach who had won a Super Bowl with the Seattle Seahawks and trading for a veteran QB with an expensive contract to serve as a stop-gap. After beating the eventual AFC champions on the road in Week 1, the Raiders went 2-14 for the rest of the year and got rid of both that coach and that QB. In going for another major shake-up, the Raiders knew that they had to get it right and go in a different direction than they had the year before.
So, they hired a coach who had won the Super Bowl with the Seattle Seahawks and traded for a veteran QB with an expensive contract to serve as a stop-gap.
Of course, the coincidences are funny because they’re just that — coincidence. Pete Carroll was 73 years old when he was hired by the Raiders, Geno Smith had only one decent season to his name, and the only young QBs on the roster were Aidan O’Connell and Kenny Pickett. On the other hand, Klint Kubiak is currently just 39 years old, Kirk Cousins actually used to be good, and the main promising young QB on the roster will soon be the No. 1 overall draft pick.
Coincidence or not, Kubkiak’s hiring marks a dramatic swing from everything Raiders fans have been used to when it comes to their organization. After a decade of retreads like Carroll, Josh McDaniels, and Jon Gruden — older coaches on few other teams’ radar — the Raiders went out and got a young coaching prospect, arguably the most desired candidate of the offseason. It’s such a departure from the norm — not only a young coach, but one that many teams wanted. Nothing good ever happens to the Raiders, and I know I wasn’t the only one sweating it out as the other teams filled their vacancies. That wait (and Seattle’s playoff run) may have cost us when it comes to assistants. But it’s a small price to pay if Kubiak can replicate his offense.
I also know I wasn’t the only Raiders fan watching the Super Bowl and imagining how Kubiak would call plays for the Raiders. Seeing Kubiak and the Seahawks win a Super Bowl with a solid if not spectacular QB who didn’t make dumb mistakes, an electric RB with a unique style, and a young receiving phenom leaving defenses in the dust had all of us thinking. Swap out Sam Darnold for Mendoza, Kenneth Walker for Ashton Jeanty, and Jaxon Smith-Njigba for Brock Bowers. We can see the vision, now it just has to be executed. Of course, the Seahawks had one other positive that was crucial to their success: arguably the best non-Houston Texans defense in the league. The Raiders certainly don’t have that. Although…
Just when we thought it was weird to see the Raiders get universally praised for their head coaching hire, they then doubled it up by getting universal praise for its free agency. Las Vegas had a lot of cap space to spend, and they spent a lot on defense. Quay Walker, Nakobe Dean, Kwity Paye — all solid upgrades to a defense that drastically improved seemingly overnight. But the biggest move of them all came on offense, at arguably the most important non-QB position. In backing up the Brinks truck for Tyler Linderbaum, a young C going into his prime and giving Mendoza a potential anchor for his offensive line. That line could have improved even more with another 1st round pick. But Linderbaum’s old team just happened to be run by a bunch of bitches.
There were three big question marks for the Raiders going into the offseason. The first was at head coach, answered enthusiastically. The second was at QB, seemingly about to be answered. The final one was Maxx Crosby, the Raiders’ best player who had become disgruntled with the franchise as it got in position to draft Mendoza. With everyone wondering if he would ever suit up for the Silver & Black again, the Raiders dealt him to the Baltimore Ravens in exchange for two 1st round picks. It was a painful move, one that literally dropped me to my knees at work when I found out about it. But it was also one that was at worst a 50/50 deal and at best might actually work in favor of the Raiders in the long run. But just two days later, the Ravens did something pretty much unprecedented: back out of an agreed upon deal before it could be ratified. Citing a failed physical, Baltimore broke the agreement, sending Crosby back to the Raiders and the picks back to the Ravens, who just happened to sign Trey Hendrickson shortly after.
The move smelled fishy at the time and has only grown even stinkier with time. Crosby had surgery on his knee and would never have passed a physical, though he is expected to be ready by the time the season starts. Everyone knew that, but Baltimore seemingly used it just as an excuse to back out of a deal that many thought they were on the wrong side of. The fact that Crosby was at the Ravens facility at the time all of this was going down — Hendrickson reportedly was too — makes things even slimier. It also completely screwed over not just the Raiders, who made several deals and committed a lot of money on the assumption that Crosby’s contract was off the books, but also other teams who had wanted Crosby, assumed he was off the market, and then made other moves to fill that position. While the old saying goes that assuming makes an ass out of you and me, it was the Ravens who came out of the controversy looking like assholes.
Allow me a moment to let my inner Raiders fan out…
Fuck the Baltimore Ravens. That was a bitch ass move and every other team in the NFL thinks so. Y’all were mad that we signed Linderbaum and swindled you in the Crosby deal. So you used a technicality to lie and get out of this deal. Well guess what? Now Crosby is pissed and out for revenge. He’s going to use this as motivation to come back stronger than ever, and his bond with the Raiders is as strong as ever. You just unleashed the Condor on the NFL, and now he actually has help. You’d better hope you choke the AFC North away once again, because if the Raiders meet you in the playoffs, Crosby will rip Lamar Jackson’s head off. I hope whoever you take with the 14th overall pick is a bigger bust than JaWalrus. I once thought that if I ever stopped being a Raiders fan, I might root for the Ravens instead. Well fuck that and fuck you. Silver and Black for life. Fuck Steve Bisciotti. Fuck Eric DeCosta. Fuck Jesse Minter. Fuck Sashi Brown. Fuck Edgar Allen Poe. Fuck Edgar, Allen, and Poe. Fuck the Ravens’ new admittedly sick uniforms. Fuck Old Bay. Fuck the collapsed Francis Scott Key Bridge. Double fuck Tony Saragusa. I’m glad Mark Andrews dropped that two-point conversion. Ewing, I’m sorry you’re caught up in this and I hope you’re disappointed in your team. Unfortunately, your team is now on the shit list and hated by pretty much the rest of the league.
Ah, that’s better…
Of course, there’s one more offseason move we need to discuss, and it involves someone who hasn’t sworn as much as I did in the previous paragraph in his whole life. Out of all the teams who could’ve made a trade for Kirk Cousins, the Raiders weren’t high on the list. But the more I think about it, the more it makes sense to me. Cousins, though definitely at the tail end of his career, cannot be worse than Smith was last year. At least, given his floor and durability, Cousins should be able to allow Mendoza to sit his rookie year and learn the ropes. At the very least, it makes for one interesting gooberific QB room in Las Vegas of all places.
Optimism has been the enemy of many Raiders fans. Going into the draft holding the No. 1 overall pick after hiring arguably the best coaching prospect and having arguably the best offseason, that enemy is at the gate and surrounding the fortress. Today, that optimism is about to get another major weapon to it. We are about to enter a new era of Raiders football, one led by Kubiak and (presumably) Mendoza. Whether or not it works out will be determined in the future. Some of the smartest moves on paper have not worked out for various reasons. For once, the Raiders objectively made smart moves. If they don’t work, only terrible luck will be to blame. All we can do is wait, and be prepared to see a lot of No. 15 Raiders jerseys.
Also, before I forget, RIP Rod Martin, two-time Super Bowl-winning LB with the Raiders who picked off Ron Jawarski three times in Super Bowl XV. You will be missed by Raider Nation.
RUBEN’S RANKINGS
TOP 10 BEST HEISNAM TROPHY WINNERS TO PLAY FOR THE RAIDERS
With Fernando Mendoza seemingly a mortal lock to join the Silver & Black, he will join the list of Heisman Trophy winners to have played for the Raiders, which is a group that’s just big enough for me to make this list. So far, ten such players have suited up for the Raiders, with Mendoza set to be the 11th. Now, I say ten, but there are some technicalities that make for some honorab–
(whispering)
… hold on, I’m being told that I actually did this exact Top 10 list two years ago in an effort to karmically sway the odds of Jayden Daniels falling to the Raiders. Let me check…
(looks it up)
… shit, that’s right. Damn, this would’ve been an absolutely perfect Top 10 list to do this time. If only I could have foreseen this exact scenario. It’s almost like I have to take a guess when I come up with these ideas and occasionally get burned.
Well, crap. What do I do for a Top 10 list now?
…..
…….
…………………………
……..
…. wait, I’ve got it!
TOP 10 QBS TO NEVER PLAY IN A SUPER BOWL
Before we totally move onto the next season, we need to look back at the one in our rearview mirror. Specifically, we need to look at Super Bowl LX, one whose matchup none of us could have reasonably predicted beforehand. After a fairly chaotic year, it seemed both fitting and disappointing that the QB matchup in the big game was sophomore Drake Maye and journeyman Sam Darnold, who had been mostly known as a draft bust who “saw ghosts” and crapped his pants in his playoff debut the prior year with the Minnesota Vikings. As it turned out, we needed to give Darnold a bit more credit. While he wasn’t exactly prime Tom Brady out there, he did exactly what he needed to do and guided the Seattle Seahawks to their second Lombardi Trophy, winning it at Levi’s Stadium and causing San Francisco 49ers fans to feel the same level of pain Raiders fans went through two years earlier (at least Las Vegas didn’t get belt-to-assed in the playoffs beforehand). Until the end of time, Darnold will be known as a Super Bowl champion, and the first QB from his loaded draft class to reach the big game.
That got me thinking. We have now seen 60 Super Bowls, a nice even number perfect for looking back for analysis. In this case, the analysis centers on those who have failed to appear in any of those Super Bowls. Often, we focus on winning the Super Bowl, as well as who is the best to never do so. When it comes to QBs, Dan Marino (as well as Jim Kelly and Fran Tarkenton) are often among those thought of. But making the Super Bowl is an achievement all its own. What about those who have never done it? Who are the best QBs to have never even played in a Super Bowl? I mean, every good QB should at least get there, right? How hard can it be? After all, Darnold and Maye have done it.
First, a couple of caveats. When I say “never played in a Super Bowl,” I mean never even reached the big game. The likes of Trent Green, Mark Brunell, Bernie Kosar, George Blanda, and Alex Smith — QBs who would’ve contended for the Top 10 — may not have played in the Super Bowl, but were on teams that made it. However, they were backups on their teams, reaching the biggest stage but not taking the field. Still, they did make it there technically, so they don’t qualify for the list. Also, I’m going to omit any QBs who retired before the Super Bowl or were close to retirement just as the Super Bowl became a thing. That includes Otto Graham, Sammy Baugh, Sid Luckman, Bobby Layne, and Norm Van Brocklin. I did end up including active players, although only two of them qualified (albeit them being the Top 2 — spoiler alert).
HONORABLE MENTION: CARSON PALMER
A member of the CFB HOF and Heisman Trophy winner, Carson Palmer could never quite replicate that success in the NFL. But he came tantalizingly close to making the Super Bowl twice. The first was his breakthrough season with the Cincinnati Bengals in 2005, which saw the team’s playoff run end (and Palmer suffering a major injury) against the eventual Super Bowl champion Pittsburgh Steelers. A decade later, Palmer’s 2014 season with the Arizona Cardinals ended with another major injury, and the 2015 season saw a defeat in the NFC title game.
HONORABLE MENTION: JAY CUTLER
While Jay Cutler was famous for seemingly not giving a shit, he was still one of the better QBs of his era and arguably the best QB in Chicago Bears history (we’ll see if Caleb Williams challenges that spot). The closest Cutler got to the Super Bowl was in the 2010 season, when he led the Bears to the NFC title game against the Green Bay Packers. However, Cutler suffered a sprained MCL during the game, which the Bears narrowly lost. Cutler was criticized for not playing through the injury, although he very much likely didn’t give a shit about it.
HONORABLE MENTION: JEFF GARCIA
The unfortunate QB to follow the Joe Montana-Steve Young era of the San Francisco 49ers, Jeff Garcia was solid if unspectacular under center, making four Pro Bowls. With the 49ers — as well as the Philadelphia Eagles and Tampa Bay Buccaneers — Garcia made the playoffs four times, never even reaching the NFC title game. But he did help lead San Francisco to its miraculous comeback over the New York Giants in the 2002 season and was eliminated by two different Super Bowl champions (Tampa Bay and New York) during his time as a starter.
HONORABLE MENTION: JIM HART
Before Kurt Warner came around, the best QB in Arizona Cardinals history was Jim Hart, who spent 18 seasons with the team in its St. Louis era. Despite playing for a team that wasn’t even the most popular sports entity named the St. Louis Cardinals, Hart managed to lead his team to multiple playoff appearances and three straight ten-win seasons (an incredible achievement given the sad history of the franchise). Hart managed to be named Second-team All-Pro in 1974 and make four Pro Bowls, while also winning the 1975 “Whizzer” While Man of the Year award.
10. BERT JONES
During his ten-year NFL career, Bert Jones made just one First-Team All-Pro and one Pro Bowl, while being stuck on a generally poorly run Baltimore Colts team that let him get sacked 12 times in a single game (tied for an NFL record). You’d probably be surprised to learn that Jones is not only a former NFL MVP, but put together one of the best seasons by a QB in NFL history. Jones was phenomenal in 1976, leading the Colts to an 11-3 record despite an internal power struggle that threatened to derail the team’s season before it began. Jones led the NFL in passing and yards per attempt while finishing with the second-best passer rating in the league. That 1976 playoff run ended quickly at the hands of the Pittsburgh Steelers, and even if the Colts had won they likely would’ve lost to the eventual Super Bowl-winning Oakland Raiders. But Jones still showed he had talent to lead a potential Super Bowl run — it’s just a shame that the rest of his career was bogged down by injuries and poor management by the Colts.
9. ANDREW LUCK
40ish years after a MVP-caliber Baltimore Colts QB’s career was cut short due to injuries, a MVP-caliber Indianapolis Colts QB’s career was cut short due to injuries. When it comes to unfulfilled potential, perhaps there’s no greater case in NFL history than Andrew Luck. A four-time Pro Bowler and former NFL passing TD leader, Luck constantly elevated the roster around him, though his physical style of play and lack of a proper offensive line in front of him led to Luck suffering more than his fair share of injuries. After just seven seasons in the league, Luck shocked the sports world by retiring before the 2019 season, citing the injuries he had sustained in the league. From his rookie season to his final year, Luck was among the better QBs in the league, and with a better team around him and better injury luck could have achieved an even better career. Luck — who as of this writing is only 36 years old — remains one of the biggest “what ifs” in NFL history, as well as one of the best QBs to never reach the Super Bowl.
8. TONY ROMO
Ah, Tony Romo. One of the most memed QBs in NFL history, Romo nonetheless was one of the better QBs of his era and arguably the best Dallas Cowboys QB of the 21st century. A four-time Pro Bowler and former NFL passer rating/completion percentage leader, Romo did a lot of carrying in the Cowboys locker room, leading a high-powered offense to the playoffs several times. However, Romo — like Dak Prescott after him — has become the non-Jerry Jones face of Dallas’ inability to advance to even the NFC title game. Romo won just two playoff games in his career, although it probably should’ve been more given the Dez Bryant no-catch controversy. Just as the Cowboys became a more complete team, Romo’s career ended due in part to injury and Prescott fully took over the reins of the team. Prescott himself nearly made the list, though he still has a decent amount of time to get himself off this list. As for Romo, his talent — along with the playoff chokes and heartbreaks — more than do enough to earn him a spot here.
7. MICHAEL VICK
In terms of unfulfilled potential at QB, Michael Vick stands alone with the likes of Andrew Luck and Greg Cook at the top of the list. Perhaps more than the other two, we got to see some of Vick’s potential. One of the most electric players in NFL history, Vick became arguably the best running QB to that point and was improving with his passing ability. He even took the Atlanta Falcons to the NFC title game. But just as he was truly entering his prime years, Vick was suspended and later jailed after being found guilty in a massive dog fighting scandal. But like one anonymous NFL GM once said, if Hannibal Lecter ran a 4.3 we’d probably diagnose it as an eating disorder. Vick was eventually signed by the Philadelphia Eagles, where he flashed more of that potential as a legitimate MVP candidate during the 2010 season. Unfortunately for Vick fans, that’s as good as it would ever get. Still, through pure raw talent alone, Vick remains one of the better players outright, let alone QBs, to never get to play in the Super Bowl.
6. RANDALL CUNNINGHAM
Before Michael Vick, there was Randall Cunningham, the first QB truly described as a “dual threat” with his arm and legs. Immensely talented and a unique prospect, Cunningham first broke out with the Philadelphia Eagles, where he made the playoffs several times. But the Eagles could never get far enough and injuries ruined some of their better opportunities. Cunningham left football altogether but eventually returned as a member of the Minnesota Vikings. It was with them in 1998 that Cunningham — throwing to Cris Carter and Randy Moss — put together arguably the best season of his career for arguably the best team of the year. It was in that season that Cunningham came the closest out of anyone on this list to actually making the Super Bowl. The Vikings were one Gary Anderson FG from advancing to Super Bowl XXXIII, but choked against the Atlanta Falcons in the NFC title game. Cunningham instead is now remembered as the QB or arguably the best NFL team to never make the Super Bowl.
5. PHILIP RIVERS
Remember when Philip Rivers broke a four-plus year retirement to play a few games for the Indianapolis Colts this past season? That was weird as hell, wasn’t it? Although he didn’t win, Rivers proved that he could actually still sling the rock a little bit. He also delayed his HOF induction by at least five years — and he will get in the HOF someday. An eight-time Pro Bowler and former NFL passing yards/TDs/passer rating/completion percentage leader, Rivers still ranks sixth in career passing TDs and eighth in career passing yards. More than kind of a dick but more than kind of talented, Rivers’ prime was spent battling prime Tom Brady and Peyton Manning, not to mention having to deal with all of the pitfalls of being on the San Diego/Los Angeles Chargers (injuries, choking, etc.). The closest Rivers ever came to making a Super Bowl was in 2007, when he led the Chargers to the AFC title game and came close to beating the 17-0 New England Patriots on a torn ACL. Gutsy for sure, but not quite enough.
4. DAN FOUTS
While Philip Rivers is one of the best QBs to never make a Super Bowl, he’s not the best former San Diego Chargers QB to fail to do so. That honor goes to Dan Fouts, who was one of the first QBs to throw for truly impressive numbers in the era before passing became such a dominant part of the game. Fouts was the first (and so far only) QB to lead the NFL in passing yards for four straight years and the first QB to throw for 4,000 yards in three straight seasons (breaking the NFL passing record each time). All of this netted Fouts an OPOY honor, four total All-Pro nods, six Pro Bowls, and a spot on the NFL 1980’s All-Decade Team. With Fouts under center, the Chargers made two AFC title games, falling to the eventual Super Bowl-winning Oakland Raiders in the 1980 season and the Cincinnati Bengals in the coldest game in NFL history in terms of wind chill the following year. Despite this, Fouts still made history by becoming the first QB who never appeared in either the Super Bowl or NFL title game ever voted into the HOF.
3. WARREN MOON
Unlike everyone else on this list, Warren Moon has not only reached a pro football championship game, but won a championship — and several of them at that. From 1978-82, Moon (who didn’t generate much interest from NFL teams during the draft), won five straight Grey Cups with the Edmonton Eskimos, collecting two Grey Cup MVPs and a CFL MOP honor along the way. When he eventually made it into the NFL, Moon stuck around for 17 seasons, winning the 1990 OPOY award, leading the league in passing yards once and TDs twice, and reaching nine Pro Bowls. At the time of his retirement, Moon held several all-time football passing records and was inducted into both the Pro Football and Canadian Football HOF. Unfortunately for Moon, his personal skill never resulted in a trip to the Super Bowl, or even a conference title game. Moon’s best shots came as a member of the Houston Oilers, leading them to the playoffs in seven out of ten years. But even with the talent on those rosters, chaos and choking often led to short playoff runs.
2. JOSH ALLEN
While putting together this list, I first wrote down two names that were mortal locks. When I was done, those two names remained at the top of the list. In the end, the toughest decision I made was which spot to put each of them into. Ultimately, Josh Allen goes here. While he hasn’t even turned 30 yet (he will do so next month) and has several years ahead of him, Allen has already proven to not only be one of the best QBs of his era, but an MVP and future HOFer. He is capable of taking over games like no other QB while in Fire God mode and his stats (with both his arm and his legs) and accomplishments rank among QBs who have been to at least one Super Bowl. Unfortunately for Allen, while he has reached two AFC title games, he has yet to get over that final hurdle and make a Super Bowl. Unlike the other QBs on this list, the reason for Allen’s postseason heartbreak is clear and singular: Pat Mahomes, who has been Allen’s postseason bogeyman, his Kansas City Chiefs getting the better of Allen’s Buffalo Bills.
1. LAMAR JACKSON
What began with Randall Cunningham and evolved into Michael Vick, Cam Newton, and even Robert Griffin III has seemingly found its most perfect form in Lamar Jackson: the best dual threat QB in NFL history. What Jackson has been able to do without a true No. 1 WR and a strong defense for most of his career is nothing short of remarkable. Jackson has been named MVP twice (should have been three times), been named to three First-team All-Pro and four Pro Bowl rosters, and has led the NFL in both passing TDs and passer rating. He’s also become the all-time leader in QB rushing yards and tied the record for most perfect passer rating games. Not bad for a RB, huh? Unfortunately for Jackson, he and the Baltimore Ravens had yet to find sustained success in the postseason, joining Josh Allen in the “eliminated by Pat Mahomes in the AFC title game” club. Both Jackson and Allen (as well as Baker Mayfield) now have to deal with Sam Darnold, not them, being the first member of their class to reach the Super Bowl.
PROPOSALS & PRIZES
A typical fantasy football season can be described as a long and winding road filled with twists and turns and plenty of bumps along the way. Those bumps can come in the form of injuries, bad performances, or poor planning on the part of the driver. But sometimes, a driver can have every outcome planned for and be coasting along a smooth road for the season, only for a sinkhole to form underneath their car and swallow their season whole. It’s part of the chaos of fantasy football we’ve come to know and love, or at least tolerate. That being said, it does seem a bit harsh, especially given the stakes and prizes up for grabs. Is there a balance we can strike to fairly reward regular season success without taking away from the tradition and appeal of fantasy football as a whole?
If fantasy football is a road, perhaps what we need is a median.
This has been an idea that not only have I been thinking about, but has been pitched to me by more than one of you (but more in-depth by Ewing). The basic idea is that you play against the median (average) score each week. In addition to the usual head-to-head matchups, everyone is also competing to be among the upper half of scoring (in our case Top 6). If you are, you get a win. If not, you get a loss. These would not impact the actual head-to-head standings, which would still be used for playoffs and championship purposes. But at the end of the regular season, the person with the best record against the median score would get a prize — winner takes all. The idea is to better reward success and not have someone consistently score high but get screwed over by going up against the only team scoring higher than them that week (or something like that).
Now, in terms of that prize, I haven’t settled on an exact figure yet. One proposal to me suggested like $2/3 a person, both for its relative affordability and the fact that it would make it easier for you cheap fucks to agree to it. But that would only lead to a prize of about $25-$30 or so, which I don’t feel is reward enough for being the most consistent team in the league. My own preference would be to increase the annual dues from $50 to $60, with the extra $10 from each of you going to this fund. That would be a total of $120 — more than the $100 the overall runner-up gets but still significantly lower than the $450 grand prize. I think that’s a lot more fair. Of course, the same person could have the best median score and end up winning the league, netting a grand total of $570. Still, I also think that’s fair in rewarding a dominant season.
Apparently there’s a setting I can turn on in the Yahoo! system that will make it easy to track, but I haven’t looked it up yet and I don’t feel like dealing with this now. If not, we’d have to track it by hand. If only our league had some kind of masochist who would be willing to do just that in the form of, I don’t know, a newsletter or something…
So, let me know what you all think about this median score proposal. Is this something we should add to the league, and if so how big should the prize be? I will go with the general consensus (the majority opinion). That being said, every time I’ve gone for a general consensus I’ve heard back from like half of you at best, especially when it comes to the punishment (which reminds me we have to come up with a new one this year). Hell, collecting the usual $50 dues is tough enough (looking at you, Richard) before adding this proposed increase. But I genuinely think this would be a good addition to the league and I implore you to consider it. We have until Week 1 to do so.
One part of the proposal I’m still working out is how it would change the reward for the league’s highest scorer. Over the past several years, I’ve given a prize to the person who scored the most points in the regular season. Sometimes it’s been well-received. Other times, the winner still has yet to actually claim it (looking at you, Kyle). I’d still like to continue the tradition because I find it makes our league unique. Perhaps you’d all like to provide feedback on this as well. At least now, I can reveal what this year’s prize will be.
When it comes to wrestling merchandise, 99% of it would willingly be worn by only hardcore wrestling fans. It’s generally tacky and/or garish. But one of the few universally beloved pieces of wrestling merch involves headwear. Specifically, masks. Certain headgear has become iconic, with legendary masked wrestlers like Rey Mysterio (looking at you, Chriss), El Santo, Tiger Mask, Jushin “Thunder” Liger, Kane, Mil Mascaras, The Destroyer, Pentagon Jr., Ultimo Dragon, and Vader more becoming some of the most beloved figures in the sport in part due to their masks. Hell, the very brand of lucha libre wrestling has been heavily influenced by masks. They’re (for the most part) universally cool, and now the NFL is getting in on the act.
Last week, All Elite Wrestling — owned/operated by Tony Khan, son of Jacksonville Jaguars owner Shahid Khan — announced a collaboration with the NFL to produce officially licensed lucha masks for all 32 teams. So far they’ve been a big hit, with AEW even selling out of Chicago Bears masks. Despite these being objectively acceptable to wear at a NFL game or watch party, both the price ($60 is a bit much for these masks) and the indignity of spending your own money on wrestling merch might turn most of you off on them.
That’s where I come in. Not only do I not have shame when it comes to this, but I needed an idea for a prize this season. So, as of now, this year’s prize is this: I will buy whoever scores the most points in the regular season of fantasy football a lucha mask of the team of their choosing. So, there’s like a 2/3 chance I’m buying a Raiders mask. Again, let me know what you all think. Or if you have any other offseason proposals let me know.
#THROWBACKTHURSDAY
ON THIS DAY IN NFL HISTORY:
There have been three NFL Drafts to have taken place on April 23. Each of them tell different stories, but have some common threads. Those include a QB going No. 1 overall and the Raiders (in three different cities) making a poor decision. That’s not a good omen. Still, it’s better to recognize history so that we are not doomed to repeat it. The first of these drafts, 1989, saw Troy Aikman, Barry Sanders, Derrick Thomas, and Deion Sanders go in the Top 5, while Tony Mandarich became one of the biggest busts in NFL history. It also saw the Chicago Bears take the next future Pro Bowler in Donnell Woolford at No. 11, a pick sent by the Los Angeles Raiders in exchange for Willie Gault. Then, in 2005, the Green Bay Packers got some karmic payback for the Mandarich pick by having Aaron Rodgers fall in their lap, after the San Francisco 49ers chose Alex Smith over him. The final pick before Rodgers: Fabian Washington by the Oakland Raiders. I’ve gone over these two drafts in depth already, so check that old newsletter out if you want a reminder. But for now, I’ll go more in-depth about the third and (until draft night tonight) final April 23 draft, one that I couldn’t dive into before because it hadn’t happened yet. The Raiders — having just moved to Las Vegas — were set to host this draft, though certain world events would prevent that from happening.
On April 23, 2020, the NFL produced one of its most bizarre drafts of all-time, and it had nothing to do with any of the players involved. The draft was supposed to be held in Las Vegas, the new home of the Raiders, who had left Oakland in the offseason. As the first chance to leave a Vegas-style imprint on the NFL, plans were put in place for an ornate draft setting that included players being transported to and from the stage via boat in front of the Bellagio resort. Then the COVID-19 pandemic hit and threw all of that into the garbage. Instead, the 2020 NFL Draft would be held virtually, with players, coaches, executives, and even Roger Goodell going live from their homes via Microsoft Teams to make the selections. In a bizarre way, this made the draft much more memorable than anything Vegas could have provided. Who can forget Bill Belichick’s dog stealing the show or Mike Vrabel’s son dressing up as Frozone or goodell changing outfits midway through? Who can forget some of the insane flexes coaches/teams made with their war rooms? Who can forget the glitches and awkward moments guaranteed to happen by making middle-aged/old men interact with technology? While the draft would go back to in-person the following year, the 2020 Draft will always be a fascinating anomaly.
Of course, there was the actual draft part of the draft as well. Going in, there was some intrigue when it came to some of the best prospects. Joe Burrow had emerged as the consensus top prospect after putting up arguably the greatest season by a college QB ever. Still, there was Tua Tagovailoa, the former top prospect who was coming off a hip injury, as well as another highly-touted QB in Justin Herbert. Tua had long been projected to go to the Miami Dolphins, projected to be the NFL’s worst team. But that distinction actually went to the Cincinnati Bengals, who gleefully took Burrow No. 1 overall. Somehow, the Dolphins ended up with Tagovailoa after all at No. 5, while Herbert went to the Los Angeles Chargers one pick later. There were also two top defensive prospects in Chase Young and Jeff Okudah. While Young had a promising start in Washington at No. 2, he has yet to reach his true potential. But at least he fared better than Okudah did with the Detroit Lions at No. 3, becoming an underrated draft bust. The next group would come in the form of a trio of WR prospects, led by Jerry Jeudy (No. 15 by the Denver Broncos) and CeeDee Lamb (No. 17 by the Dallas Cowboys).
Like most modern drafts, QBs would end up providing the biggest plot lines of them all. Despite suffering from injuries and an overall lack of defense, Burrow has largely lived up to the hype in Cincinnati, leading the Bengals to Super Bowl LVI. Tagovailoa was not so lucky, with injuries (notably concussions) derailing a promising start, ending his time in Miami early, and seeing him trying to revive his career with the Atlanta Falcons. Herbert has had a solid if not spectacular career, failing to achieve a playoff win in almost comical fashion at this point. But perhaps the biggest story coming out of the 2020 Draft would be the fourth QB taken in the 1st round. To the shock of all, the Packers took Jordan Love 26th overall, despite having the reigning MVP in Rodgers on the roster. While Love has since taken over the reins from Rodgers, he has yet to reach the same level and many have wondered what the Packers could’ve done with a different player at a position of need instead. But none of these QBs would be the first of the class to win a Super Bowl. That honor would go to Jalen Hurts, taken by the Philadelphia Eagles in the 2nd round. Hurts has led the Eagles to two Super Bowls, winning the latter and helping provide the NFL world with one of the greatest hate watches in NFL history.
The rest of the draft was filled with steals as well. Tee Higgins joined Burrow in Cincinnati and eventually helped me win a fantasy football championship. Jonathan Taylor, Trevon Diggs, Zack Baun, D’Andre Swift, and Xavier McKinney were among those taken later as well. But perhaps the best overall player from the 2020 Draft was Justin Jefferson, who is on his way to a HOF trajectory with the Minnesota Vikings. Incredibly, Jefferson was the fifth WR taken in the draft, following Lamb (a Pro Bowler in his own right), Jeudy (meh), Jalen Reagor (imagine the Eagles with Jefferson), and another player I’ve neglected to mention until now. The third member of the aforementioned prospect trio and the first WR taken in 2020 was Henry Ruggs, selected (of course) by the Raiders. Less than two years later, any promise Ruggs had was thrown out of the window when he drunkenly caused a fatal crash, leading to his incarceration. But Ruggs was just the tip of the iceberg. Fellow 1st round pick Damon Arnette was cut by the Raiders days later after threatening to kill someone with a gun on social media. Altogether, just two of the seven players in the Raiders’ 2020 draft class remained on the roster in the 2022 season and none of them remain there now. Please, football gods, have we not suffered enough? Do not let Fernando Mendoza and the rest of his Raiders draft mates suffer the same fate.
OTHER NOTABLE HAPPENINGS:
— 2010: The Kansas City Chiefs trade the greatest TE in franchise history (to this day), Tony Gonzalez, to the Atlanta Falcons in exchange for a second round pick (used on Javier Arenas)
— 1995: Howard Cosell, legendary sports broadcaster best known for his 32-year tenure with ABC — including his time as a Monday Night Football commentator — dies at the age of 77
— 1983: The Los Angeles Rams trade multiple picks (including the No. 3 overall selection) to the Houston Oilers in exchange for the No. 2 overall pick — the Rams would draft Eric Dickerson, while the Oilers would trade the No. 3 overall pick (which turned out to be Curt Warner) to the Seattle Seahawks for several picks, including No. 9 overall (used to select Bruce Matthews)
30/30
Although the 2026 MLB season is just about a month old, I still managed to cross a few ballparks off my list. As per usual, I’ll provide a quick review of all four of them.
KAUFFMAN STADIUM: The fifth-oldest ballpark in MLB certainly shows its age in places. But Kauffman Stadium has character, which is aided by the fountain display in the outfield and genuinely cool crown scoreboard. Given its faults, location away from Kansas City proper, and the fact that there’s really nothing to do nearby but get gas and flip off Arrowhead Stadium, I can see why there’s a push to build a new home for the Royals. That being said, the venue is unique enough to celebrate and the team’s extremely passionate fanbase deserves its props.
TARGET FIELD: Perhaps the most underrated ballpark I’ve visited, Target Field is Top 5 worthy in all of MLB. It’s beautiful and in a great location, it has good food and drink options, and it features plenty of extras and good views. It’s also a perfect showcase of Minneapolis and the state as a whole. It’s a damn shame that this ballpark is not filled every day, because the team owners have nearly run the franchise into the ground. The home of the Twins should be one of the most talked-about venues in all of baseball, even if it snows there a bit on occasion.
PNC PARK: Often talked about as one of the best ballparks in all of MLB — if not the best — PNC Park somehow manages to live up to the hype. Seated right along the Allegheny River, the venue offers a jaw-dropping panorama that is enough to wow any visitor. But the home of the Pirates does so much more to keep mouths agape. The old school vibe and unique way it tackles potential problems are impressive and it’s easily within a short distance of other areas in Pittsburgh proper. A place of this caliber should be home to a much better franchise than it is.
GREAT AMERICAN BALL PARK: Home of the oldest professional baseball team in the world, Great American Ball Park does a great job at preserving and showcasing that history, all while embodying everything Cincinnati stands for. But despite this — and a great location — the home of the Reds takes some unique risks, with not all of them paying off. The venue lacks in some surprising areas and is starting to show its age in others. Still, it does shine in several areas and produces a memorable experience for fans, albeit one that could probably be a little bit better.
So, with those four added to the list, the total number of current MLB ballparks I’ve visited has increased to 30.
Wait, 30? 30?!? There are only 30 teams in MLB! Does that mean…
Yep, I finally did it. I have seen a game at every single current MLB ballpark.
This marks the end of a journey that began nearly 20 years ago — specifically, on August 28, 2006. That was the day that Dad surprised me with tickets to my first ever MLB game. We were in the Bay Area for a soccer tournament and our beloved Boston Red Sox were in Oakland to face the Athletics. Dad only had two tickets, leaving my mom (who didn’t care about baseball) and Gabby (too young to care) in the hotel room as we walked to the McAfee Coliseum. I remember being amazed by the size of the field and seeing more than a few people wearing red and blue among the sea of green. I had never known another Red Sox fan outside of my family, so to see other people wearing similar gear made me feel like I had found other family members. I was excited to finally see a MLB game in person. Little did I know everything would go wrong.
My favorite player, David Ortiz, was scratched from the lineup due to, of all things, an irregular heartbeat. Other fan favorites like Manny Ramirez, Jason Varitek, and Trot Nixon also didn’t play. Dustin Pedroia had all of five games and two hits to his name. Esteban Loaiza allowed just five hits and a walk over seven innings. Red Sox pitchers didn’t fare as well, with 2004 postseason hero Keith Foulke getting shelled for three home runs, including ones to Frank Thomas and Nick Swisher. The Athletics absolutely demolished our beloved Red Sox 9-0, Dad and I were heckled by a Coliseum security guard as we left, and the walk back to the hotel was even more terrifying than what we had just witnessed on the field. If you would’ve told a then 14-year-old Ruben that I would go out of my way to travel to every MLB ballpark after this, I would’ve called you crazy. Maybe it was a preview for the future, given my masochistic relationship with the Sacramento Kings and Las Vegas Raiders. Either way, I would not attend another MLB game for six years, and it would be another Epic League member who helped snap the drought.
By 2012 I was 20 and we all actually had some money and freedom. One day — nearly six years to the day from my first game — Jimmy invited me to go to an A’s game with him and Gee. Given that it was during the day and the Cleveland Indians — not my Red Sox — would be the visiting team, I felt more relaxed at the Coliseum, able to enjoy the various amenities at the game (what they were, anyway) as the A’s won 7-0. Just over a month later, Jimmy invited me and Riaz to go with him to another A’s game — this time Game 3 of the 2012 ALDS against the Detroit Tigers. It was an intense but fantastic game — highlighted by a fantastic home run robbery of Miguel Cabrera by Coco Crisp — that the A’s won 2-0. But while I had begun to have fun at the games, I still hadn’t really been wowed by a ballpark beyond mere first time curiosity.
That would change in the following year, which saw another family trip to the Bay to see the Red Sox play. This time, the location would be San Francisco, and all four members of the family (Gabby being old enough to care about baseball at this point) would attend. After taking the Vallejo ferry, we stepped inside AT&T Park and my eyes grew to the size of plates. Going from only knowing the Coliseum to this place was like going from ARCO Arena to the Golden 1 Center. It was an amazing ballpark, though not wanting to miss out on watching the Red Sox (who absolutely crushed the Giants that day) I pretty much stayed in my seat. Fortunately, two years later I would be able to explore the ballpark thoroughly on a trip with my cousin, Camille. As she watched Madison Bumgarner dominate the San Diego Padres, I scoped out the place and was baptized into the church of the Crazy Crab’z sandwich.
Even after these positive experiences, I still hadn’t made the jump to making ballpark visits a goal of mine. Then, in 2017, Jimmy invited Chriss and I to Seattle to watch the A’s take on the Mariners. I wasn’t about to turn down a trip to Seattle with my friends, but I had to ask Jimmy about the reason, assuming it was a journey that just happened to coincide with the game. But as it turned out, the game was the main reason for the trip, with Jimmy wanting to check out the ballpark. When I pressed further, Jimmy argued that ballparks are the most interesting sporting venues out there, unique to their team, city, and general history. I thought about it and — after exploring Safeco Field with that mindset — agreed with him. Just like that, Jimmy’s idea to visit every MLB ballpark had been passed onto me as well. Although the Mariners would whoop on the A’s, I had gained a domestic travel goal to pair with my international travel debut.
That travel rush, which had started with Japan the year before, continued in 2017 with a trip to Germany and France. I was scheduled to fly out of LAX and saw an opportunity to continue another tradition — the ill-fated Pac-12 tour — by organizing a group visit to watch USC vs. Texas. But after almost everyone bitched out, I had to pivot. That’s when I noticed that the Angels were in town that day and, thanks to then-Anaheim resident Ewing, scored tickets to the game. I crossed off Angel Stadium, watched the Angels top the Texas Rangers, and then headed off to drink a boatload of beer at Oktoberfest. My very next international trip would also lead to my next ballpark, though it would all be in one place. Heading to Toronto right before I moved to the Morning Show in 2018, I tried poutine for the first time, saw playoff hockey in Canada, and froze my ass off due to an unexpected spring snowstorm. The latter led to a chunk of ice falling off the CN Tower and tearing a hole in the roof of the Rogers Centre, forcing the postponement of that night’s Blue Jays game. I ended up making it to the first game of the ensuing doubleheader, settling in behind the mesh foul pole as the Blue Jays smacked the Kansas City Royals.
I thought that would be it for 2018, but fate had other ideas. Specifically, my Red Sox decided to win 108 games and advance to the World Series, where they faced the Los Angeles Dodgers. Yes Nick, you might want to skip this paragraph. I never seriously thought I would actually be able to go to a World Series game, especially given my rule that I would only consider it if tickets were under $200. After waking up following Boston’s Game 4 victory, I checked online and saw a ticket for $182. So without knowing how I was going to get there the following day or get back in time for work, I bought the Game 5 ticket. After hitching a ride to LA from Dad’s then-roommate Patrick, I proceeded to shit myself with anxiety in Dodger Stadium due to this enormous risk. But you can’t win if you don’t try, and this would prove to be the greatest victory of my sports fandom so far. The Red Sox shut down the Dodgers 5-1, allowing me to see my favorite team win the World Series in person. I gave myself five minutes to celebrate before sprinting down Chavez Ravine (and somehow not getting my ass kicked by pissed off Dodgers fans), making it to LAX for the last flight of the day (thanks to Patrick), and getting into work only an hour late. That morning, I even got to go on TV and wave my Red Sox flag in celebration.
Given how 2018 ended, perhaps it’s no surprise how 2019 ended up. After three straight years of international travel, I ended up taking a break and switching to a domestic trip instead. To my utter shock, Dad — notoriously afraid of flying — insisted he come along as well. While we almost did a half-East Coast, half-Iceland trip, we ended up just exploring the Northeast. Of course, if we were going that far, we had to make the pilgrimage. After securing a cabin in the Cape Cod town of Brewster, Dad and I went to Boston, where we fulfilled every Red Sox fan’s dream by making our way to Fenway Park. Seeing the ballpark in person brought tears to Dad’s eyes, and I was close to crying as well. Fenway absolutely lived up to the hype both inside and out and I got a new Red Sox hat (among other things) Sadly, the Red Sox went 0-2 in the games we attended, but we really couldn’t complain (even after seeing Hunter Pence of all people hit an inside-the-park home run), especially after what had happened before the second game.
We couldn’t go to Fenway and not take a tour, which is what we did before the Red Sox faced the Rangers. It was the very last tour before the game, which I had picked purposely because it included a visit to the Green Monster. As we gazed down upon the field, we saw several players warming up. That included Xander Bogaerts, who saw us and tossed a ball to a nearby coach. That coach threw the ball from the outfield right to where I was — literally, it was like a bee line right to me. I managed to now screw the moment up, catching the ball and being utterly beside myself the rest of the night (second-greatest sports memory so far). Bogaerts then hit a home run in that night’s game and became my new favorite player (post Ortiz retirement).
Of course, Fenway wasn’t the only ballpark we visited. Turns out, both New York teams were at home while we were on the East Coast. First — on a Father’s Day that saw a trek across the Brooklyn Bridge, trip to the top of the Empire State Building, and a table at Keens Steakhouse — Dad and I spent the afternoon at Citi Field watching the Mets lose to the St. Louis Cardinals. The following day, we bit the bullet. After deciding I wanted to watch a game at every ballpark, I knew at some point I would have to visit Yankee Stadium. So, we decided to face the challenge together, barely holding on as Masahiro Tanaka’s complete game shutout helped the yankees top the Tampa Bay Rays. Wanting to hit double-digits before the year was over, I ended up spending a weekend in San Diego, touring Petco Park and watching the Red Sox go 1-1 against the Padres. Feeling pumped up by visiting an excellent ballpark and getting to the one-third mark of the full quest, I eagerly anticipated adding more ballparks to my list in 2020. I even bought a ticket to the Cardinals’ second home game of the year in anticipation.
Unfortunately, I would not go to that game (though I still have the physical tickets). After all, that game and most others were canceled, while only a handful even allowed fans to attend due to the COVID-19 pandemic. So with 2020 having come and gone, I would have to wait until 2021 to see live baseball again. Funny enough, the return to action would be where it had all begun 15 years earlier — the Coliseum, where once again the A’s hosted the Red Sox. Just two days before my 29th birthday, I joined a troupe including Jimmy, Gee, Kyle, Arik, Nick, and the latter three’s significant others in watching a game that was much more competitive than my first one, with the action lasting 12 innings. Hell, one more inning and we would’ve risked missing the Capitol Corridor train back home. Unfortunately, the A’s would once again beat my Red Sox, improving their record in games I attended to 4-0 at the Coliseum (little did we know it would end there).
Just over a month later, I was back on the road for a trip sparked by a different sport. At long last, Tom Flores had been inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame, with Charles Woodson joining him in the Class of 2021. I knew I had to attend the ceremony and Dad ended up going with me. When we realized the Indians (one year from being renamed the Guardians) would be at home that weekend — just an hour away in Cleveland — we decided to add Progressive Field to the docket. We also later realized that Detroit was just two hours away from Cleveland, and that the Tigers would be hosting the Red Sox two days earlier. Thus, our plan was set. After arriving in Detroit and contending with the baffling logistics of the “Michigan left,” we had to witness the Tigers whoop our Red Sox at Comerica Park. Two days later, Dad formed an unusual kinship with Cleveland, we endured a rain delay that brought a mouse onto the Progressive Field concourse, and the Tigers would once again come out on top, this time on the road.
I wasn’t quite done with baseball in 2021. Ewing and Aly were in Dallas at the time and I had been meaning to visit. So, after missing out on a group trip to Arlington, I flew out for a two-day swing that included Ewing and I attending an all-Texas clash between the Texas Rangers and Houston Astros at Globe Life Field. The Rangers disappointed the home crowd by losing and I was disappointed by Globe Life Field’s rattlesnake sausage. I would also take Gabby to Seattle, as we watched the Red Sox split a pair of games at the now-T-Mobile Park. With travel getting back to normal in 2022, I would end up having my biggest baseball year to that point. That would begin not with a game, but with a trip to another hall. This time, it was Ortiz being inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame, meaning Dad and I headed to Cooperstown to watch the ceremony. At that point, I was less than halfway towards my goal. That would change in just a few months.
That August, I finally avenged my seventh-grade self, who had been unable to attend the Didion summer trip to Washington, D.C. All those years later, I went out to the nation’s capital myself, both to visit friends who had relocated there and check out all of the museums. I also caught a ball game, crossing off Nationals Park as the Washington Nationals fell to the Chicago Cubs. Like with the Tigers the previous year, I would end up seeing two Cubs victories in three days, this time at Oriole Park at Camden Yards in nearby Baltimore. While due to scheduling issues I had to pass on seeing the Red Sox play again, I was still able to catch this ballpark, with the beautiful home of the Baltimore Orioles marking my halfway point in my ballpark quest. I could cross that halfway point the following day — this time a couple of hours away. After a day in which I saw the Liberty Bell, Rocky Statue, and a proper cheesesteak in person for the first time, I ended the night at Citizens Bank Park watching the Philadelphia Phillies fall to the Mets.
By this point I had noticed a dramatic downturn in the fortunes of the home team in games I attended. After all, the last five games I had watched had been won by the visiting team. To an infuriating degree, that would change towards the end of the 2022 season, thanks to an unexpected performance. Sacramento Republic FC had made an improbable run to the U.S. Open Cup Final, which was set to take place in Orlando. I decided to go, as did Kyle and Alli, who were also visiting Kyle’s family in Tampa Bay. I looked at the schedule and saw the Red Sox were in town. So, I took an interesting Greyhound bus trip westward and we ventured inside Tropicana Field, where the Red Sox lost to the Rays. But this meant I had finally crossed off an entire division. The fact that, for someone who lives on the West Coast, that division was the AL East will never not be funny to me. While looking at the schedule, I also noticed the Miami Marlins would be at home that same week. Not knowing when I’d be in Florida again, I flew down to Miami and saw the Marlins (surprisingly) defeat the Mets at LoanDepot Park. Those games — plus a Republic FC loss and Miami Dolphins win over the New England Patriots — saw Florida teams go a combined 4-0 in games I attended that week. The home luck would not come home to California with me, as I would see two Giants losses at the now-Oracle Park, first to the Padres the day before Ewing and Aly’s wedding and then to the Dodgers during Nick’s bachelor party week (much to the latter’s happiness I’m sure).
Over the next two years, the ballpark quest continued, though it would take a backseat to my continental quest. Wanting to make progress in 2023 while saving my resources for a trip to Australia and New Zealand, I ended up making a quick flight to Phoenix to cross off Chase Field and watch the Red Sox split a pair of games with the Arizona Diamondbacks. The following year, in between my quest-accomplishing trip to South America and Antarctica and my fall trip with the Antarcticans to Morocco, I would compile a road trip that some might find unusual on paper. First, I headed to Denver to watch the Red Sox lose in extra innings and give up 20 runs to the Colorado Rockies in a three-game set at Coors Field. Then, it was off to St. Louis, as I would be gleefully reminded of how the 2004 World Series ended while watching the Cardinals split a pair of games with the Nationals at Busch Stadium (and checking out the Gateway Arch as well). Busch Stadium would also be the first NL Central ballpark I visited, meaning that I had finally seen a game in every division. Heading into Missouri also meant I had reached 25 states, crossing the halfway point of another quest that likely won’t end anytime soon.
Heading into 2025, I had to handle two ballpark-related situations. First, depending on who you asked, I was either still at 21 or back to 20. That’s because the Athletics had officially left Oakland and were beginning their three-year stay in West Sacramento. So, I had to catch a game at Sutter Health Park, doing so with Kyle, Alli, and her family as the Phillies visited the Capitol City. I also had to properly plan out just how I wanted the ballpark quest to end, now that I was within single digits of the finish. Not wanting their eventual new home in Las Vegas to potentially be the one that clinched 30/30, not wanting to wait much longer either, not wanting the threat of a potential lockout in 2027 to hang over my head, and not wanting to spend as much money by doing trips to each remaining city individually, I realized that I had to visit the final nine ballparks by the end of 2026. I knew I would be up for the challenge, but I had to chart my path carefully. In the end, I came up with a plan that would get the job done in just three trips.
Weirdly enough given the context, the first of those trips would only cross off one ballpark from the list. That would be Daikin Park, where I would end up seeing the Astros fall to the Angels. But I wasn’t alone — I was with my uncle, Jerry. Growing up, I rarely got to see my uncle, with him being a former engineer for NASA and an oil company. But I remember when I was young, he surprised my Kindergarten/1st-grade class on what was essentially career day by putting together a big presentation and giving my class all little globe-shaped balls. He really went above and beyond and, with him now in his 90’s, I was running out of time to visit him in Houston. So, I did, with him not only treating me to the aforementioned Astros game (and a AAA Sugar Land Space Cowboys game), but also a trip to NASA’s Johnson Space Center. I also finally saw the light and officially joined the church of Buc-ee’s.
Three months later — just after the 2025 All-Star break — I was back on the road, this time to take a trip I had been wanting to make for a long time. But before that, I had to finish a trip I had begun five years earlier. In actuality, I had gone somewhere in 2020 — Atlanta, for a friend’s wedding nearby. Not only were the Atlanta Braves at home at the time, but they were hosting the Red Sox. Much to my annoyance, I could not attend any game due to pandemic restrictions. This was the only time during my ballpark quest that I had visited a city with a MLB team I hadn’t seen play and not done so. But I was able to sightsee, meaning that I could just fly in for a day, not worry about missing out on anything, and then fly elsewhere. That’s exactly what I ended up doing, finally crossing off Truist Park (and watching the Braves beat the yankees thanks to Ronald Acuna Jr.’s insane double play throw from right field). With that, I flew to the main destination: Chicago.
I had longed to visit Chicago for several years, and not just for baseball. During my stay, I got to tour Chicago’s amazing architecture, delicious food scene, rich culture, and other items on the long list of attractions. Of course, baseball was a big part of that list, and I had waited for the perfect setting: Cubs vs. Red Sox at Wrigley Field. Finally, with the 2025 schedule release, the opportunity had come to see two historic franchises face off in the one ballpark that can rival Fenway in terms of history and prestige. True to form, Wrigley Field was everything I wanted, and the surrounding Wrigleyville area lived up to the hype. Plus, the Red Sox actually won, making it a perfect day for me. I did return a couple of days later to both take a tour of Wrigley and root on the Cubs against the Royals, joining in the singing of “Go Cubs Go!” after the home team won.
Of course, Wrigley wasn’t the only ballpark I saw on my trip. After about an hour-long train ride north, I arrived in Milwaukee, where I would gorge on delicious food (including salmon crack) at the downtown market, see thousands of bobbleheads, and catch up with a former coworker and old friend. Naturally, I also made my way to American Family Field, both for a tour of the ballpark and a game the following day. But while the Milwaukee Brewers fell to the Marlins, that day was the 25th anniversary celebration of American Family Field, with the Brewers bringing in a bunch of veterans (including Prince Fielder, Ryan Braun, Carlos Gomez, Yovani Gallardo, and Eric Thames) in for a post-game home run derby. Unfortunately, the trip would end on a somewhat damp note as I returned an hour south for an inter-city clash between the Chicago White Sox and the Cubs. Why was I not that excited? Because the game was played at Rate Field. While I did get another ballpark off the list, it was not a good one, the home team lost heavily, and then I had to return home from Chicago, trip completed. With that, it was down to the final four.
Before I even took off for Chicago, I had set my route for the final trip and had to restrain myself for months before planning. Even then, I still managed to get more than a few details wrong. But in the end, I managed to make it work. Up first, I would be stepping into enemy territory, not for baseball reasons but football ones. As soon as I landed in Kansas City, I was hounded by all things Chiefs. It didn’t help that Kauffman Stadium was right next to Arrowhead Stadium, which I managed to snag a picture of me flipping off (to match the one I took at Mile High in Denver). Feeling somewhat relieved to see Bo Jackson memorabilia for sale inside Kauffman Stadium (he also played for the Royals, after all), I wore a silver and black inside. I was rewarded with the Royals topping the Minnesota Twins in an absolutely stupid game that should’ve been halted or even called early due to both fog and rain.
Things could not get warmer at my next stop, as I followed the Twins back to Minnesota. After settling into Minneapolis, checking out the Mall of America, and finally trying a proper Jucy Lucy at Matt’s Bar, I made my way to Target Field for a hot and cold experience. It was hot in the sense that Target Field was a fantastic ballpark and definitely the most underrated of the ones I have visited, as well as the fact that the second game I attended actually had some nice weather. But it was also cold in that it was freezing outside for the first game, with actual snow falling from the sky at several points. Severely underpacked, I had to retreat to heat lamps hung around the ballpark and eat hot food, one of which — a cheese brat — betrayed me in ways I could not foresee. Plus, the Twins lost both games to the Rays. Still, it was a good time overall.
If Target Field was the scrumptious appetizer, then what came next was the mouthwatering main course. PNC Park more than lived up to the hype surrounding it, so much so that I ended up attending three games. That’s despite the Pittsburgh Pirates hosting the Padres, forcing me to see Bogaerts in another uniform several times (and see the Padres take two out of three games). Seeing Paul Skenes pitch in person was a treat, as was the fact that I accidentally managed to get club seats for that game. Seeing Bert Kreischer throw out the first pitch shirtless was not. In the end, Pittsburgh would prove to be both a beautiful city and home to a wonderful ballpark, as well as a metric ton of bridges. I’m still not sure whether or not it was worth it to endure all of the immaculate reception references (I had to add another flip off picture to my collection). Regardless, it served a purpose, as it meant I was just one ballpark away from completion.
You might’ve wondered why I saved Great American Ball Park for last. Back when Dad was young, he was a fan of the Dodgers, who had a legendary rivalry with the Cincinnati Reds. Rooting against the Reds in the 1975 World Series, Dad ended up falling in love with the other team: the Red Sox. That’s how Gabby and I ended up as Red Sox fans. So, I thought I’d pay tribute to that old rivalry by saving the Reds’ ballpark for the last. But that time had finally come at last. Strolling into Great American Ball Park for a pre-game tour, I had officially been inside all of the current ballparks. But it didn’t count until I had seen a game, and despite yet more rain and other obstacles, I managed to make it back to see the Reds face the Angels. Not gonna lie — I got a bit emotional walking around the concourse before the game. That emotion turned into a rush of adrenaline as the game reached its conclusion and, despite the Reds losing, I walked out of there happy, having finally achieved my goal. I returned the following day for one more game, which the Reds won. But more importantly, I got to flex a little bit and truly soak in what I had done. Nearly 20 years after attending my first MLB game, I had managed to watch a game at every single current MLB ballpark — 31 venues in total. I had crossed off every single one from the list. I had finally conquered Major League Baseball.
Looking back at the journey, it’s a little staggering. When it comes to pure numbers, going to every current MLB ballpark requires a visit to 27 different cities/metropolitan areas across 17 states, one district, and one province in two different countries. That is a hell of a lot of travel to do in less than a decade. The final push — nine ballparks just under a calendar year — is kind of insane looking back at it. It also certainly hasn’t been cheap, especially with inflation. Hell, my flight home from Cincinnati was almost as expensive as my round-trip flights from LA to Tokyo were combined in 2016. But it’s also a lot of time spent immersing myself in new cultures and areas. I’ve spent at least two days in almost every single city I visited, not just to watch baseball and other sports but to hit up museums, restaurants, galleries, public spaces, and other spots to really get a sense of the city and its history. As a traveler, even though I talked about some of them this way, these weren’t just items to cross off a list. They were experiences to enjoy. The ballpark quest may have been the main reason why I visited all of these cities, but it ended up becoming more of a means to an end as the trips started to pile up. It also helped me evolve as a traveler, learning lessons I would put to use on some of my international adventures.
I won’t lie, being the first one in the group to actually reach the 30-ballpark mark has me feeling a little big smug. But at the same time, I’m a bit envious of those who have ballparks left on their to-visit list. You can only go somewhere for the first time once, and looking back at my own adventures I’m excited to see how you guys react to experiencing them yourselves. Just try to avoid going north in April, and be extra careful when biting into a cheese brat. Still, I find myself thinking back to 2024, after I had gotten home from Antarctica, my continental goal complete. I had based my travel schedule off this goal for nearly a decade — now what? I still want to travel while I can, but where do I go? The same applies for domestic travel, which has been, for the most part, driving by the ballpark quest. What do I do now? I’ve seen all 30 ballparks and I’ve been to 50 MLB games. Do I just take a break and do something else? Do I return to places I’ve been before? At least for the time being, the answer was back to the beginning, sort of.
Less than a week after I returned home from completing the ballpark quest, I was back at an MLB game once again. But I didn’t have to go that far for Game 51 — A’s vs. White Sox at Sutter Health Park. At the stadium, I saw several people wearing special White Sox jerseys I had only seen in Chicago. I also saw people sitting in Buc-ee’s lawn chairs, warming my soul a little. But what truly warmed my soul was how I watched the game: with friends. Kyle, Alli, and several others were with me in the lawn seats (this game was also my first MLB game spent lying on the ground), while Jimmy, Nick, and Chriss took time from sitting in their special seats behind home plate to hang out with us for a bit. While it seemed the White Sox would run away with it early, the A’s managed to battle back and — after both teams blew bases loaded opportunities in extras — walked it off in the 11th. Afterwards, several of us went to The Barn for drinks and pizza. It was a reminder that, while I certainly enjoyed my time at the other ballparks and don’t regret traveling by myself, these games are better spent with good friends. I’m not going to lie, standing in Sutter Health Park ten days after being in PNC Park was a bit of a whiplash moment.
Now, I know you all have been waiting for the real results of the ballpark quest: the final rankings. Which ballpark is the best? Which is the worst? What’s my Top 5 or Top 10 or Bottom 5? Where does your favorite team’s ballpark rank? Well, you’re going to have to wait a bit longer. Now that this newsletter is in the books, I can get to work on my ultimate ballpark magnum opus: a huge, in-depth ranking of every single current MLB ballpark. I’m planning for it to be its own thing, big enough to be at least two or three newsletters long by itself. My goal is to have that done sometime in June, for sure before we gather for MLB Trivia Night 2. Sorry — I meant before Jimmy wins MLB Trivia Night 2.
Meantime, as my PTO rebuilds itself, I find myself unsure of exactly what to do next. Usually I have travel plans set several months or even a year or so in advance. But for once, I have nothing in the pipeline. I would like to travel overseas towards the end of the year, but I don’t have a set destination in mind. There are countries I’d like to visit, but no frontrunner. The path could be set based on some U.S.-based events, but without another ballpark on the docket I’m not sure which one to take. Even before then, I have one interesting decision to make.
ONE LAST THING
Earlier in this newsletter, I brought up a segment I had included in the draft newsletter two years ago. Now, it’s time to run back something I included four years ago. Sort of.
Back in 2022, I ended the draft newsletter by calling for a group trip to the Toyota/Save Mart 350 at Sonoma Raceway. I had wanted to attend my first NASCAR race and figured it would be a fun weekend for the boys. Naturally, none of you showed any interest and I stowed the idea away. That is, until this year.
You see, I am actually actively following NASCAR this season. There was a historic court case that could change the future of the sport and a major format change that took away one of the major issues fans had with the sport (some, not all). So I figured why not actually try to follow the sport for a year and see what happens. We’re now a quarter of the way through the 2026 Cup Series, and it’s been an interesting start so far, highlighted by a driver from Corning winning five of the first nine races — an insane feat.
So, I had decided to get on board and actually attend Sonoma myself, whether with a group or by myself. No matter what, I had decided I would finally see my first NASCAR race in person this year. With Sonoma so close, I figured that would be it, and Sunday, June 28 would be my full introduction to the NASCAR world. The only reason I hadn’t bought tickets yet was because I wanted to once again open up the invite to all of you. I had fully expected to hear crickets for a few days and then buy my tickets next week or something.
Then, a funny thing happened.
This past week, All Elite Wrestling announced the date of one of its premier events: Forbidden Door. The event is a rare collaboration between AEW and other companies like New Japan Pro-Wrestling (NJPW), Consejo Mundial de Lucha Libre (CMLL), and World Wonder Ring Stardom to showcase matchups thought of as “forbidden” due to contractual restrictions. The idea is the wrestling version of pitting Omni Man against Homelander or Voltron vs. the Megazord. Since the first edition in 2022, Forbidden door has produced some incredible matchups (Bryan Danielson vs. Kazuchika Okada, Kenny Omega vs. Will Ospreay, Mercedes Mone vs. Stephanie Vaquer, etc.). It’s also been one of the consistently best shows in all of wrestling each year.
So imagine my surprise when it’s announced that Forbidden Door — which has previously been held in places like London, Toronto, and Chicago — will be held in San Jose this year. Hell yeah — I have the chance to watch one of the best cards of the year at the Shark Tank? Awesome! I’m definitely gonna go. Let’s check the date for Forbidden Door…
… Sunday, June 28. The same exact day as the Toyota/Save Mart 350.
Are you fucking kidding me?
The one time I actually commit to attending a NASCAR race, one of the best pro wrestling shows of the year is held near where I live on the same day of the closest Cup Series race. That is an extraordinary and infuriating coincidence.
Oh, and before anyone asks, I tried to map out the potential of doing both. NASCAR races last about two-and-a-half to three hours, and given the greater likelihood of time-consuming aspects of racing like cautions on road courses like Sonoma, it’ll probably be closer to three. But let’s be generous and split the difference — 2:45. The Toyota/Save Mart 350 starts at 12:30 p.m. and all West Coast AEW shows start at 5 p.m. That would have me leaving Sonoma Raceway at 3:15 and having at minimum 1:30 to get from there to the SAP Center. On paper, that could work, assuming that I hit minimal to no traffic, which is basically an impossibility near the track. I would have to sprint from my seat to my car as soon as the winner crossed the checkered line, get incredibly lucky with traffic, and then be able to park and get to the arena quickly enough for the start of the show (missing the pre-show matches entirely). Too much would have to go right for it all to work, and even then I wouldn’t be able to get food or drinks or use the bathroom. Doing so would either make me miss the start of the show or part of the card I rushed so quickly to see. It’s not worth it to try to cram both in there.
So now, I have to make a choice. Four years ago, if you had told me that I’d be unironically racking my brain over whether to go to a NASCAR race or a pro wrestling event, I’d have called you crazy. But this is the reality we’re living in.
What do you all think I should do? I will say my decision could be swayed by whether or not I’d be going alone, so if you want to join in let me know.
Jesus fucking Christ I’m a 33-year-old man agonizing in a fantasy football newsletter whether or not I should go to a NASCAR race or pro wrestling show. I need to get a life, or at least a girlfriend.
Ruben Dominguez
Commissioner, Epic League of Epic Epicness
2019 & 2024 Champion, Epic League of Epic Epicness
Ruben's Writings 
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