Category: Newsletter
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Week 11 Newsletter: Excelsior!
I really hoped I wouldn’t have to do another tribute newsletter this year. If celebs mean enough to me to get one, that means they’re dead and I’m sad. Case in point: I actually screamed, “NOOOO!!!” when I got the alert that Stan Lee died. Lee, of course, was basically the godfather of Marvel comics,…
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Week 10 Newsletter: Elect to Get Your Ass Kicked
If I have to continue to deal with midterm bullshit at work even after most of the votes have been counted, so do you. Election season is still on, bitches! (cue theme music) Thank god I don’t have to see another Gavin Newsom/John Cox/Jeff Denham/Josh Harder/Dianne Feinstein/Kevin De Leon/Prop 6/Measure U campaign ad. By the…
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Week 9 Newsletter: The Sweetest Caroline
(clears throat) Ahem…WORLD MOTHERFUCKING SERIES CHAMPS, BABY!!!!!!!!! Before this season, this crop of Boston Red Sox players were thought of as guys who couldn’t get it done in the playoffs. They had just gotten a rookie manager and their overpaid signees (especially David Price) wouldn’t do much. Their arch rivals from New York were thought…
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Week 8 Newsletter: How Horrifying
It’s Halloween time, y’all! Halloween is my second favorite holiday (the 4th of July being #1), so I have no problem making this the first repeat theme of the newsletter. But, I don’t want to just do the same exact thing over again (the Nightmare Before Christmas parody took way too much effort). So, I’m gonna pick…
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Week 7 Newsletter: Viva la Nordecke
At the end of last year’s Week 7 Newsletter, I included a note about the Columbus Crew and how their fans were about to lose their team. Their jackass owner, Anthony Precourt, has been trying to force the franchise to move to Austin, TX for essentially bullshit reasons, including and “outdated stadium,” Columbus not being…
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Week 6 Newsletter: Face the Pain
A benefit of going on a trip to three different countries was that I had a theme for three straight weeks. While recovering from my epic overseas toilet tour (turns out I had this), I realized, “Oh shit (no pun intended), I have to actually come up with a theme this week!” I had absolutely no…
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Week 5 Newsletter: I Saw Messi Play
Greetings from Sacramento! Yep, I have returned to the U.S. in one piece (mostly). Since the last newsletter, I flew to Barcelona and spent a few days doing all sorts of things: shitting my guts out from food poisoning I got in Casablanca, seeing the Sagrada Familia, shiting my guts out, striding down La Rambla,…
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Week 4 Newsletter: Marrakesh Express
Well, I would be on a Marrakesh express had the stupid ticket website accepted my phone number as valid. Whatever. Flying works, too. Anyway, greetings from Casablanca! I’m in the city everyone knows only from the Humphrey Bogart film! Yes, I am eating at Rick’s Cafe tomorrow. Anyway, I’ve gone from the freezing yet enjoyable…
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Week 3 Newsletter: The Home of Real Football
Greetings from Seattle! I’m trying to kill a four-hour layover surrounded by annoying Seahawks fans/depressed Mariners fans, which I guess are one and the same. In a little bit, I’ll get on another plane and head somewhere a little bit colder: England! Specifically, Manchester. I’m starting my latest international excursion by spending a couple of…
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Week 2 Newsletter: Stick This in Your Trophy Case
As soon as I hit send on last week’s newsletter, I got a notification on my phone about the passing of legendary actor Burt Reynolds. The 82-year-old died Thursday in his Florida home after going into cardiac arrest. Reynolds had iconic performances in a multitude of films, so much so that if you haven’t seen…
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