Tag: Fantasy Football
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Week 17 Newsletter: In the end…
Yeah, yeah… we’ll get to the Epic Bowl in a little bit. But for now, it’s time to be a millennial and make sure everyone, even those who didn’t finish on the podium this season, gets a trophy. (cue theme music 1) Starting from top to bottom (regular season standings): 2018 EPIC LEAGUE AWARDS (1)…
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Week 16 Newsletter: Just Wonderful
Y’all know how much I love holiday-themed newsletters. With Christmas right around the corner, seems like the perfect excuse to queue one up! Today marks 72 years since the premiere of not only one of the greatest holiday movies ever, but one of the greatest films of all time: It’s a Wonderful Life. George and Clarence…
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Week 15 Newsletter: Miracles do Happen
There’s this comedian/YouTube personality I follow named Vic Dibitetto. He’s got a classic New York accent and an East Coast style about his work, often hilariously ranting on a number of topics. He’s also a huge sports fan, particularly the Giants and yankees, and has an ongoing series where he pretends to be the teams’ coach…
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Week 14 Newsletter: A Smashing Good Time
It’s time, gentlemen. After 13 weeks of football, waiver pickups, shit talking, and bitching, the playoffs are finally here. The field has been whittled down to eight teams duking it out for glory, bragging rights, and cold hard cash. It’s the most exciting time of the fantasy football season and everyone will be glued to…
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Week 13 Newsletter: Are you ready, kids?
If you don’t know who the guy on the left is, he’s responsible for the guy on the right. His name is Stephen Hillenburg, a former marine biology teacher, created an informative comic book in the 1980’s in order to educate people about tide pool animals. He also worked as a fry cook in a…
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Week 12 Newsletter: Be Thankful
It’s Thanksgiving. What the hell are you doing? Spend time with your friends and family, for goodness sake! Well, unless you’re reading this as a distraction from relatives you don’t want to be around. In that case, let me entertain you 11 people once again. Before I do, let me just say thank you for…
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Week 11 Newsletter: Excelsior!
I really hoped I wouldn’t have to do another tribute newsletter this year. If celebs mean enough to me to get one, that means they’re dead and I’m sad. Case in point: I actually screamed, “NOOOO!!!” when I got the alert that Stan Lee died. Lee, of course, was basically the godfather of Marvel comics,…
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Week 10 Newsletter: Elect to Get Your Ass Kicked
If I have to continue to deal with midterm bullshit at work even after most of the votes have been counted, so do you. Election season is still on, bitches! (cue theme music) Thank god I don’t have to see another Gavin Newsom/John Cox/Jeff Denham/Josh Harder/Dianne Feinstein/Kevin De Leon/Prop 6/Measure U campaign ad. By the…
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Week 9 Newsletter: The Sweetest Caroline
(clears throat) Ahem…WORLD MOTHERFUCKING SERIES CHAMPS, BABY!!!!!!!!! Before this season, this crop of Boston Red Sox players were thought of as guys who couldn’t get it done in the playoffs. They had just gotten a rookie manager and their overpaid signees (especially David Price) wouldn’t do much. Their arch rivals from New York were thought…
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Week 8 Newsletter: How Horrifying
It’s Halloween time, y’all! Halloween is my second favorite holiday (the 4th of July being #1), so I have no problem making this the first repeat theme of the newsletter. But, I don’t want to just do the same exact thing over again (the Nightmare Before Christmas parody took way too much effort). So, I’m gonna pick…
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