Category: Newsletter
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Pandemic Newsletter 3, Part 2: Of Movies and Mustaches
CHASING THE GOAT A few weeks ago, LeBron James revealed the logo and title for the long-rumored and finally confirmed sequel to the cult classic 1996 film Space Jam. Like it or not, Space Jam: A New Legacy will be releasing July 2021. Like its predecessor, it will involve basketball and the Looney Tunes cast. I have a…
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Pandemic Newsletter 3, Part 1: Of Masks and Men
For the first time since the pandemic began, things are actually getting better. So naturally, we’re gonna fuck it up. Right now, we’re passed the peak and traversing the flattened curve. All of the staying at home stuff worked, but it would be smart to keep at it for a little while longer to make sure the coronavirus…
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Pandemic Newsletter 2, Part 2: Socially Distant Deep Dive
The interview with Mayor Steinberg went well! He talked about his communication with Gov. Gavin Newsom, whether or not we’ll be forced to wear masks in public, how local businesses are doing, how much of a piece of shit Sen. Mitch McConnell is, and how Sacramento is working to protect its homeless population. Everyone at…
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Pandemic Newsletter 2, Part 1: Socially Distant Draft
As the days go by, the more it becomes apparent just how different everything is and how these changes are going to be around for a while. My original prediction for when everything would start going back to normal was the first half of June. I still think that’s when social distancing guidelines will largely subside…
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Pandemic Newsletter 1: Going Viral
Alright Ruben, this is your first newsletter as the reigning Epic League champion. Be humble and act like you’ve been here before. No one likes a sore winner. Plus, it’s not like anyone in the league has talked shit to you at all or made fun of you as commissioner or been an asshole for…
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Week 17 Newsletter: Sweet, Sweet Victory
Oh yeah. OOOOHHHHH YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH. You all know what’s coming. Dread it. Run from it. Destiny still arrives all the same. And now it’s here… or rather, my (pretty much spolier-free) review of The Rise of Skywalker is. (cue theme music)RISE REVIEWED The Rise of Skywalker had to be one of the most difficult films to make in history.…
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Week 16 Newsletter: A Duel of Fates
Why must Christmas be on a Wednesday this year? It would’ve been perfect to end the season with a Christmas-themed newsletter, but now it’ll be stupid to do one after the holiday is over. So I’d have to do it this week, seeing as it’s become one of my annual recurring themes. However, there’s one…
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Week 15 Newsletter: Chalk It Up
Fantasy football is weird, particularly in the sense that we have some sort of Pavlovian expectation for things to go terribly wrong. Sports in general is full of upsets, but on the digital gridiron, people expect the unexpected. That’s why, when everything goes exactly as it should, people get freaked out. Take the Epic League…
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Week 14 Newsletter: House of Mouse, House of Pain
It’s time, boys. No one plays for Weeks 1-13. It’s all about what goes down Weeks 14-16 that really matters. Over the next few weeks, the remaining eight teams will be reduced to one champion of 2019. We have favorites, dark horses, and underdogs aplenty. It’s the playoffs, so anything can happen. The No. 1…
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Week 13 Newsletter: Talking Turkey
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! I hope this newsletter finds you all well. If you’re reading this as a way to distract from holiday visits, as a way to connect while missing out on some Turkey Day traditions, or simply because you’re a fellow football junkie, I’ve got some good stuff for you this week. This includes…
Ruben's Writings 