Ruben's Writings

I really hoped I wouldn’t have to do another tribute newsletter this year. If celebs mean enough to me to get one, that means they’re dead and I’m sad. Case in point: I actually screamed, “NOOOO!!!” when I got the alert that Stan Lee died. Lee, of course, was basically the godfather of Marvel comics,…

If I have to continue to deal with midterm bullshit at work even after most of the votes have been counted, so do you. Election season is still on, bitches! (cue theme music) Thank god I don’t have to see another Gavin Newsom/John Cox/Jeff Denham/Josh Harder/Dianne Feinstein/Kevin De Leon/Prop 6/Measure U campaign ad. By the…

(clears throat) Ahem…WORLD MOTHERFUCKING SERIES CHAMPS, BABY!!!!!!!!! Before this season, this crop of Boston Red Sox players were thought of as guys who couldn’t get it done in the playoffs. They had just gotten a rookie manager and their overpaid signees (especially David Price) wouldn’t do much. Their arch rivals from New York were thought…

It’s Halloween time, y’all! Halloween is my second favorite holiday (the 4th of July being #1), so I have no problem making this the first repeat theme of the newsletter. But, I don’t want to just do the same exact thing over again (the Nightmare Before Christmas parody took way too much effort). So, I’m gonna pick…

At the end of last year’s Week 7 Newsletter, I included a note about the Columbus Crew and how their fans were about to lose their team. Their jackass owner, Anthony Precourt, has been trying to force the franchise to move to Austin, TX for essentially bullshit reasons, including and “outdated stadium,” Columbus not being…

A benefit of going on a trip to three different countries was that I had a theme for three straight weeks. While recovering from my epic overseas toilet tour (turns out I had this), I realized, “Oh shit (no pun intended), I have to actually come up with a theme this week!” I had absolutely no…