Ruben's Writings

Two years ago, I watched 100 movies (that I had never seen before) in a year. That’s a new movie for about three/four days. While I loved it because it broadened my horizon and finally crossed off some must-see films from my list, the task also sort of burned me out when it came to…

SHOOT IT! Congrats to the Houston Astros on winning the 2017 World Series! I’m sure I speak for everyone here (especially Nick) when I say that I’m happy the Astros beat the Los Angeles Dodgers and captured the first championship in franchise history. It’s a remarkable achievement for a team that has been synonymous with…

(cue theme music) Boys and girls of every age, Wouldn’t you like to see something strange? Come with us and you will see, This, our league of Fantasy! This is Fantasy, this is Fantasy! Footballs deflate in the dead of night! This is Fantasy, everybody get a huge lead, It’s not like we can blow THIS one,…

An interesting thing happened to me at work this week: I got not just one, but two free bags of tortilla chips! Plus, one of them was from Chipotle, so it’s as good as getting three free bags. Free tortilla chips! Also, I got promoted. FOX40 offered me a two-year deal to be a full…

We’ll get to football in a minute. But first, I need to vent. HOW THE FLYING FUCK DO WE NOT QUALIFY FOR THE WORLD CUP WHEN: 1. WE PLAY IN THE EASIEST CONFEDERATION TO QUALIFY FROM, 2. ALL WE NEED IS A DRAW AGAINST LAST PLACE TRINIDAD AND TOBAGO, 3. WE ARE THE GODDAMN UNITED STATES…

Sorry this week’s newsletter is so late! I got called into work yesterday, so I lost a lot of normal writing time. I guess in some ways it was a good thing, because I’m able to pass this bit of breaking news on. This has been taped to the window at Nationwide Freezer Meats at…